Ask anyone what should be the most important trait in one’s personality and pat comes the reply ‘Confidence’. This ‘ten’ letter word has so much power that one simply can’t afford to overlook or ignore it. And if we add the prefix ‘self’ in confidence then it defines who you are.
Every organization looks for self-confident individuals as they are more apt to produce high-quality work under pressure. A self-confident person believes in his strengths and abilities and does not become overwhelmed by low self-esteem and doubt. People who exhibit self-confidence do not seek the approval of others but are ambitious and seek challenges.
People who are low in confidence grapple to become successful in their life. The reason is simple. People having self-confidence are not only an asset for themselves but for others also. Think about the people in your life who exhibit quality self-confidence. These people are generally fun to be around, possess many friends and are often successful in their choice of career.
The world today has become highly competitive and confidence is the only key tool to win the rat race in every walk of life. But many times we feel the basic element of confidence is missing in us. As a result we perform well below our caliber. This happens due to fear of being rejected or any other reason. Be it in a public speech, giving vivas in your college, appearing for an interview or say even on the eve before your exams. For eg. CAT, XAT, MAT etc.
If we look into our hearts and think, we will come to know that the fear inside us is going to get us nowhere. It is the confidence that is going to take us places. This is because with confidence we can put across our thoughts in a better and pleasing way. Instead of living in these unending moments of fear and thoughtless analysis it is better if we project ourselves with the skills we have with the gloss of confidence. Confidence helps to portray the finer points of one’s personality in such a way that the weak points are never highlighted.
But as we say anything in excess is bad. Confidence should glow in us only till the point where our personality is boosted. Above this it leads to over-confidence that is totally unacceptable. Many people confuse confidence with over-confidence and that is the beginning of their end.
Scroll through the lines and see the difference: “I can do this is” or “Only I can do this.” The former gives a sense of confidence that if one believes in himself nothing is impossible. But the latter displays an egoistic feeling discarding the importance of others and their presence as well.
Over-confidence results in unsatisfied performance levels as the seed of ego grows into a plant in our mind. We then imagine and make big talks just to maintain our ego. This ultimately makes you fake and leads to your downfall. Confidence is all about being cool, calm and composed.
A life experience without self-confidence leads a person to miss out on the valuable opportunities. Confidence in one’s own capabilities combined with sincere efforts helps one to achieve unthinkable heights. A self-confident person is a natural leader and strongly believes in his or her principles but is open to other points of view.
The good news is that as you take classes to speak fluent English or try to get a perfect figure by working out in gym, confidence can be gained or strengthened quite easily. It is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things through. Once this is understood, and you master the ability to gain confidence, it becomes a snowballing juggernaut of positivity. But the bad news is that there’s no quick fix or a 5-minute solution to achieve it.
There are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. Here as some that would help to boost or build your confidence:
- Don’t treat confidence as a bug bear: If you hold the notion of confidence in awe or fear, you are telling yourself that it is a powerful thing that will overshadow you. You need to understand that confidence is just a tiny little emotional loop happening in your brain's limbic system. That is all confidence is. Believe it or not, you have complete power over your confidence right now and at all times.
- Feel it: By feeling confident, you appear more confident. By appearing more confident, people react to you in a positive way. When people react to you in a positive way, it reinforces your confidence. It’s like a chain reaction.
- Devise ways of gaining confidence: Your personality speak volumes about your inner self. Look at the way you walk. Don’t walk painfully. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important. While sitting don’t slouch but sit upright. When you speak make your words audible and diction clear. Talk sense. Dress smart and sharp. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with others. Your level of self-confidence can show in many ways: your behavior, your body language, how you speak, what you say, and so on.
- Look at your past achievements: Look at what you've already achieved instead of brooding about your failures. Think about your life so far, and list the ten best things you've achieved in an "Achievement Log." And then spend a few minutes each week enjoying the success you’ve already had. This will pep up your mood and encourage you to do better.
- Think about your strengths: Use a technique like SWOT Analysis. Explore personal SWOT Analysis to take a look at who and where you are. Looking at your Achievement Log, and reflecting on your recent life, think about what your friends would consider to be your strengths and weaknesses. From these, think about the opportunities and threats you need to overcome.
- Have objective and purpose: Think about the things that are really important to you, and what you want to achieve in your life. Setting and achieving goals is a key part of this, and real self-confidence comes from this. Goal setting is the process you use to set yourself targets, and measure your successful hitting of those targets.
- Start managing your mind: Building confidence is a process and should undergo the regular mode of revamping. Learn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talks which can destroy your confidence. Enhance your knowledge and do your homework well which will definitely boost your confidence.
- Commit yourself to success: The last and most important thing is to make a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you are absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it.
To conclude, self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident. If you are under-confident, you’ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all. And if you’re over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and crash badly.
Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but not beyond your abilities) and try hard.
Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. So boost yourself as your mind is your greatest mentor and you are your greatest helper.